And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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