just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
And the cops told us we were all naked.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
