So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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