Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
