hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize