JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
