It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize