dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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