is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
