There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
