Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
