Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
