she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
worst night to have a conscience
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Randomize
