Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
