Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
