Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
