Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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