Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
