just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
