the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
