But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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