Christians are straight up FREAKS
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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