he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize