the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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