Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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