I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
