I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
