this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
