My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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