So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
