I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
