you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
