Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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