"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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