Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This house was built for laser tag.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
