i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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