then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
