it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
