Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
