I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
