you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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