Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just threw up on my dentist
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
