absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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