Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
