Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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