I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize