it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
