just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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