Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
