uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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