if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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