i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
