i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
