ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
