I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
