And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
