Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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