mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
