I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
