i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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