we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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