Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
