I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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