Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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