the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
