Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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