he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
