I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
