Small penises have feelings too.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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