Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize