Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
