Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
