Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
