How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
