You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize