Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
