I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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