sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
